He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
