I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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