I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
