i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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