Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
