i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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