All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
