so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
