Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
