She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
