he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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