Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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