1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just gargled with NyQuil
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
