"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize