Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
