Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Please, let me fuck your mom
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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