God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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