I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
