false alarm. still invincible.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
