In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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