Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my being single is dangerous.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
