I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize