I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
