I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
