My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
