my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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