Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
