Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize