how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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