Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
