My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
