I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
