....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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