so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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