I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
