It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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