We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
