on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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