I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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