Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
