What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
