He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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