im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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