Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
