And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I intend to get homeless drunk
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
