butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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