would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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