U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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