How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
3 2 1 whiskey
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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