he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
