If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
