Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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