you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
