That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
