Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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